My nightmare baby shower

I guess I'll start this blog off with the nightmare that was suppose to be my baby shower...

Back in December, I was searching freebie sites for some free baby stuff and I came across the local welcome wagon's website and noticed they were throwing a baby shower... and of all days it was on my birthday.  Of course, I signed up and was really excited to go...I mean it was going to be my only baby shower since I don't have any friends that live around me that would think of throwing me one...(they are all the elderly neighbors in my building).  And since my family is so far away and Shawn's family is far away, I just kinda accepted that if I wanted to have a baby shower for my daughter, that the welcome wagon would be my only chance.

So up until 2 weeks ago, I was sooo ready for this baby to come and to have her here already, then I get an email telling me they changed the date of the shower to April 5th...ok I can still attend that...it's not my birthday, but that's a good thing now that I can look back and know what it was like cause I never want to remember my first preggo birthday with a shower like that.

Shawn had decided that he wasn't going to go with me cause it was a "GIRL" thing.  I was fine with that, I was told I could bring other people with me but as I stated above, I don't know anyone that would be interested.  I did ask a few people who gave me stupid excuses so I stopped asking people.

When I got to the hotel up the road where the shower was being held, I went with the thought of it being all about the mommies and their babies... well someone should have told me it would be a local business conference instead.  When I signed in, they gave me a gift bag, that when I went through it, had more paper with junk typed on it then there needed to be.

I went into the room where the shower was being held and there were all of these booths set up and tons of preggos walking around gathering information.  Now mind you, I realized really quick that I was the only mother-to-be that DIDN'T bring anyone with me.  All of the other preggos brought tons of people...you'd swear they were having their real shower after this one cause of the amount of people there.

I walked around to all of the booths, but I had to take breaks in between because I kept getting winded cause babe here decided mommy doesn't need to breathe... *rolls eyes*  And after I was done with my tour, I sat down and waited to see what else was going to happen.

About 45 minutes later, the real fun started... they began to give away the door prizes...which were cheap-ass things from the dollar store.  If you wanted the good gift baskets they had, you had to pay $5 per basket just for a chance to win one...and if you didn't win one, you didn't get your money back.  Needless to say my money stayed in my pocket, cause I only brought $5 and I wasn't wasting it there....lol  Oh they had cake, but we weren't allowed to touch it...it was for display purposes only.  I took pictures (April 2009 in the picture section) because I figured I can at least dream of what it would be like to rip into one of them. 

So after all of the prizes were given out (a total of 15 minutes) they announced that the shower was over and we were all to leave...nice huh?  No party games, no nothing...I was cheated!!!

When I got home I was holding back tears because as I was walking the whole 5 minutes home, I was coming to the realization that Shawn and I are really on our own here.  We have no family near us to help if we need it.  Our closest family is Shawn's mom and she is an hour or so away, depending on how fast she drives...lol 

My dreams of having an actual shower with my family and friends was completely destroyed.  I envisioned my baby shower as a gathering of my loved ones, fun games, laughs, and cake... lots of cake...that I can actually eat...lol  But that won't ever happen because most of my family is out east in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, and up in northern Ontario.  I guess I was just hoping to enjoy this like you see on tv...but tv is fake so I guess my dream was too.

Shawn did tell me this little diddy that made me kinda smile (when Sneakers wasn't licking my tears)..."What do you expect when the friends we do have are poorer then us."  He's right...I had high hopes for something that would never be.

The one thing that is getting to me now is that I have told a few people about my nightmare shower and they all seem to think that it's because I didn't get anything for the baby...I could care less about getting things for her because Shawn and I are doing good getting her things on our own, with the exception of the crib (thanks mom and Ken).  It just seems that some people don't get that I care more about having my family here then the amount of gifts I get.

Okay I need to end this or I'll go into a rant and probably start to cry again about this.  Good night and check back sometime tomorrow as I'll be posting about my "eventful" OB appointment today...I don't have the energy to type it all out right now.